How are you?

How are you?
I am suffocating in my mental illnesses. I physically find it harder and harder to breathe every single day. Every day gets harder and harder to push through. I think I might actually be drowning. I can actually feel my throat getting tighter. I'm terrified.
I'm great! Thanks for asking!

How are you?
My boyfriend lovingly touched me, and I almost had another panic attack because I was suddenly overwhelmed with feeling too crowded. I snapped on him for loving me. I snapped on him for showing me affection because my mind thought I was going to suffocate if he continued to keep his hand on my leg. He loves me, yet it's hard for him when I'm suddenly complete and raw emotions, unable to express anything except that I suddenly can't handle being touched right now. My emotions are hurting him, yet I'm drowning so fast I can't explain to him what's going on. It keeps getting worse, and happening more often.
I'm great! Thanks for asking!

How are you?
It's been two weeks since I remembered to take my medications. My life is so busy yet so not that I can't remember to take the one thing that helps me to function. But then I wonder if it really helps when I do take it.
I'm great! Thanks for asking!

How are you?
My head hurts from straining everyday to do normal things, while also trying to fight my depression and anxiety. I'm forgetting to do things more and more everyday. I make lists to remember, and then I forget to look at the lists that are supposed to be reminding me to do things. My headaches never go away, and my memory isn't getting any better. I try so hard, yet still I can't get it right. My memory is so bad I can't even remember to go to my Psychiatrist appointment that is an hour away even though I set an alarm to remind me.
I'm great! Thanks for asking!

How are you?
I'm not okay. But I can't tell you that. You don't really care when you ask how I'm doing. You only care to put on a mask of sincerity, to make small talk. I'm not doing okay, and I'm really good at acting chipper, but trust me when I say I'd rather be sleeping the pain away. I can't even talk to anyone, because mental illness has suddenly become glorified. Because talking to someone, only stirs up "I understand" responses, when in fact, they don't understand. They aren't going through it. People struggle to understand that someone can have depression and anxiety evn though they have a good life. People struggle to understand that it comes and goes, in spurts of days and weeks. One day I'm on top of the world, and the next I'm carrying the world's weight. One day I'm just okay, and the next I can barely get out of bed.
I'm great! Thanks for asking!